Martha (Marty) Ellen Mettel
April 5, 1926 - November 19, 2009
Granted it isn't eloquent writing, but I am leaving what some might say "a written legacy." You know, where you write about important family history, memories and stories you want to share before they become fuzzy and eventually lost forever.
However, when it comes to writing about my Mom who passed away last Thursday, it has been very difficult to put pen to paper, or in this case keys to computer. Maybe because I'm struggling with the fact I can't attend her funeral due to many circumstances that didn't permit it. Or maybe because Mom's passing has affected me more than I expected. I've always seen her as a free spirit full of life, loving and living life to the fullest with lots of grit when it came to the strength of her character. And because of these qualities, I naively thought she would remain very independent living well into her 90's.
While attending the funeral would have been a tangible closure after losing a loved one, it certainly isn't the only way to express and honor my mentor, role model and Mom. This is my personal recollection and story I want to share of my sweet Mom... Memorable impressions that put a smile on my face.
Mom: "July 1970 - Nina, MaryAnne, and Mom just came home from church and Daddy took our picture. Taken in front of 907 N. 9th Street, Springfield, Illinois. House where Grandpa Bollman was born and grew up and where your Daddy grew up. We lived there from 1963 - 1972."
To me, Mom looked like Joan Crawford. She had that "star quality" I haven't yet encountered with anybody else. She was beautiful, intelligent and statuesque. Even though she considered herself as an introvert, you'd never know it as she could talk circles around most people having the ability to mix persuasive word with bold actions. She was drawn to innovative ventures and progressive enterprises. People were attracted by her very genial personality and open-minded acceptance of all types of people. Yes, she was very popular and made friends easily.
Her restless nature required a creative outlet as she was a master in painting ceramics, making quilts, actually anything artistic that required intricate creativity.
Her abundant energy and sharp intellect was later put to use when she became a private investigator and learned to use a computer in her 70's. She kept her mind sharp by always learning something new and she loved it. This is something she had instilled in me as I too love learning about everything and anything.
Mom, 19 years
Mom had been sick since March 2009. Because she had been sick for awhile, her death was not a real surprise to family and friends, but that didn't make it any easier to bear. I'm so thankful, hubby, Sophie and I were able to see Mom one month before she quickly deteriorated. She very calmly and matter-of-factly stated she was at peace with the decision she made, refusing chemotherapy and other treatments, at peace with her Creator, and "ready." I knew that was the last time we would see Mom alive. She was 83 years old.
Mom and Me
7 comments:
I herewith would like to convey you our deepest sympathy.
I realize from what you wrote me before that her last months have not been easy at all. You and Vincent had a good idea to visit her a few weeks ago so being able to take leave of her.
From the short visit in Belgium almost 6 years ago I will always remember her as a warmhearted lady who was very sociable and interested in many things.
We wish you, your brother and sister a lot of courage in the upcoming days.
I wish you a lot of courage. Loosing a Mom is like loosing an arm.
I still think about my beloved Mamie every day....
Take care
We were sorry to hear the news about mom. Please accept our condolences, and our thoughts are with you at this time.
I remember mom as a very kind, thoughtful and strong person the short time we spent together a few years ago around Christmas time.
We just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you.
We were saddened to hear about the death of mom and wish to express our deepest sympathy. We know how difficult this must be for you.
During the time she was in Belgium we learned she was a very nice person, full of energy and optimism.
We know no comfort is quite enough to replace this loss. But we hope you’ll find comfort with uncle and sophie, and your brothers and sisters. I hope that the memories you built will help you to carry on through this difficult time.
Lots of love.
Awesome!
Love you
Martha Ellen Mettel (met-tell), affectionately known as “Marty”, was born a little over 83 years ago in Springfield, Illinois. She and her sister, Mildred, who is with us today, grew up in Springfield. Marty met and married Earl Bollman, with whom she had three children, Bobby, Jim and Nina. Marty had a heart as big as all outdoors and , while raising their own children, she and Earl took in three additional teenagers going through rough patches in their lives, seeing them all through their high school years and helping them get started as young adults. Additionally, and at the request of Bobby, then a single male stationed in Korea, Marty and Earl adopted their fourth child, MaryAnne, a four year old Korean orphan, who unfortunately is not able to be with us today other than in spirit. MaryAnne sends her love to her family and shares in our grief.
As a young woman, Marty wanted to join the Women’s Army Corp and travel the world, but her father wouldn’t sign the release papers. Her marriage to Earl, a career soldier, opened up a lifetime of travel for her. She was very proud to be an Army wife and the things she saw, the people she met, and the life experiences she had all helped to build the woman Marty turned out to be. She never met a stranger and her open demeanor was such that within just a short time of meeting her, strangers would share their life stories with her, warming to her as though they had known her forever. Marty always walked away from these encounters leaving behind a warm feeling and carrying with her a new, rich encounter to remember.
She dealt with tragedy in her life, losing her oldest son, Bobby, in Vietnam. This deeply affected her and was one thing she never fully recovered from. But it did not daunt her style, and everyone she met over the years grew to love her smile, her grace and her deep religious belief that one day, she would see Bobby again. We know she is in his company even now.
Marty was actually married three times in her lifetime. Her sense of humor was strong even up to the day of her death. When filling in paperwork, when asked “Are you single, married, divorced or widowed?” her simple answer was “Yes.” She’d tried them all and found joy and sadness in each marriage, the last one leaving her a widow.’’
Marty loved to travel. She traveled through the US, Europe, Southeast Europe and Aruba. She had plans to travel to Florida this year before cancer changed her plans.
Marty was a deeply religious woman, who as an adult was fully immersed and baptized as a testament to her faith. This was not easy for Marty who was deathly afraid of water. Every evening she said her prayers, asking not for herself, but for the Good Lord to look out for her family and her friends. When she learned she had cancer, she stated that she was ready to go with Jesus as her savior into the Kingdom of Heaven. She did not fear death, so deeply rooted was her faith.
Thank you for sharing. We'll miss you this weekend. *hugs*
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